How do I stop obsessing over a guy?

As a psychologist with extensive experience in helping individuals navigate through the complexities of personal relationships, I understand that obsessing over someone can be a challenging and emotionally draining experience. It's important to recognize that such obsessions often stem from a place of insecurity, idealization, or a need for validation, rather than a genuine, balanced connection with the other person. Here are some strategies to help you move past this unhealthy fixation:


1. Self-Awareness: Begin by acknowledging your feelings. It's okay to have strong emotions, but it's crucial to understand why you're feeling this way. Are you seeking validation, or are you trying to fill a void in your life?


2. Self-Love: Focus on building your self-esteem. When you love and respect yourself, you're less likely to seek external validation. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself and boost your confidence.


3. Realistic Perception: See the person for who they truly are, not the idealized version your mind has created. Remember that everyone has flaws, and no one is perfect.


4. Social Support: Enlist the help of your friends. They can provide a different perspective, remind you of your worth, and help you stay accountable.


5. Validation: Don't let this one person's opinion define your self-worth. You are valid and worthy regardless of someone else's approval.


6. Disconnect: Create some distance between you and the person you're obsessing over. This could mean unfollowing them on social media, deleting their number, or avoiding places where you might run into them.

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Negative Memories: While it's easy to remember the good times, it's also important to recall the not-so-great moments. This can help balance your perception and reduce the idealization.

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New Connections: Find new relationships that are positive and fulfilling. Surrounding yourself with people who uplift you can help shift your focus.

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Availability: Don't make yourself available at all times. It's important to have your own life and not be at someone else's beck and call.

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Mind Tricks: Use psychological techniques to change your perspective. For example, associating the person with something negative can help diminish their appeal.

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1. Professional Help: If your obsession is causing significant distress or interfering with your daily life, consider seeking help from a mental health professional.

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2. Hobbies and Interests: Engage in hobbies and interests that you're passionate about. This can help take your mind off the person and provide a sense of fulfillment.

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3. Physical Activity: Exercise can be a great way to reduce stress and improve your mood. It also helps to keep you occupied and focused on your well-being.

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4. Meditation and Mindfulness: Practices like meditation can help you gain control over your thoughts and feelings, reducing the intensity of your obsession.

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5. Setting Goals: Set personal goals for yourself and work towards achieving them. This can give you a sense of purpose and direction, taking the focus off the person you're obsessing over.

Remember, it's a process and it's okay to take it one day at a time. Be patient with yourself and celebrate the small victories along the way.

Here's 10 ways you can ditch your unhealthy obsession.See him for who he really is. ... Enlist your friends to help. ... Don't let him validate who you are. ... Disconnect yourself. ... Remember the bad times, too. ... Find someone who makes you feel good about yourself. ... Don't make yourself available. ... Trick yourself.More items...